Scientists say that the universe is so expansive that beyond what is observable, you will eventually find every possible thing. Every. Possible. Thing.
For one, somewhere out there, there is another person identical to me who is only an iota different from me in every possible way. They may be writing this same blog post; only difference is they’re not hurting inside. If this was true, then there can even be a billion different I’s outside the observable universe, only difference are the people those I’s are in love with. One I may be in love with a doctor; another, to a journalist; and another I could be married to an eccentric woman. Infinite possibilities, all at the same time.
This isn’t science fiction. This is love in the context of plausible science. Multiverse, the theoretical set of infinite or finite possible universes that together encompass everything that exists: the entirety of space, time, matter, and energy as well as the physical laws and constants that describe them.
Sometimes, I wonder if the same theory can be applied to the heart. Perhaps the heart is a multiverse inside each of us. And that we can feel an infinite set of diverse emotions for an infinite number of people, things, places, or anything that exists, in one body, all at the same time.
The heart is a multifaceted object of consciousness, and each of its ‘layers’ is capable of perception and expression. This capability is linked to the brain and higher mind, so that the human instrument—the body—is capable of expression. The heart can decipher emotional frequencies from the deepest levels of the multiverse and communicate them into three-dimensional environments through the body. Emotions are even faster than the speed of thought. They function outside the bounds of space and time when they are in significance with the higher circuits of the multiverse.
If this was the case, then who are we to judge those who are torn between two or multiple lovers? The heart, as a multiverse, can love different people in different ways imaginable simultaneously. What’s makes it complicated, however, is that the human heart is a multi-dimensional reality with an infinite number of emotional frequencies which are expressed through a single three-dimensional object that is the body. So while you can experience endless ways to love an equal number of people, you got only but one vessel to express these emotions. Not to mention that this vessel is governed by several other societal or ethical or moral laws that could further limit the ways we put across these countless feelings coursing through our 4D hearts.
My heart is in two parallel universes at once. The first one is a universe that I have learned to love despite all my worries and uncertainties. The other is a universe where all my relationship values and beliefs aren’t just respected but also supported, which is important especially when you’re looking forward to a future. Two different set of feelings and emotions. One human instrument. How does one cope? Just like what Usher once asked in one of his songs, what’s a man to do?
Being one of those people who experience superfluity of emotional frequencies at a given time, I feel like I am doomed for perpetual alienation and aloneness. This is my nature. My reality. It’s valid. And it hurts that I am misunderstood most of the time for who I am. And I have grown so tired of explaining myself to the world all the time.
What must I do with multiverse dilemma? Maybe it’s wrong to have your cake and eat it, too. Maybe I should let go both of them. This will leave a huge dent in my heart but who knows? The heart is a multiverse with an infinite number of possibilities. And even though I can never love someone the way I loved another person before, there are a billion ways to love a person. Maybe someday I’ll have it all, maybe not. Maybe I’ll live and die alone, maybe not. I have to continue living to see how the story of my heart ends.