11 Things to do if you are a Non-Believer in Catholic Philippines this Holy Week

Holy Week doesn’t have to suck just because you’re a guy who sucks dick and the Church calls you a sodomizer (If you suck dick but has been ordained by a Catholic bishop, you’re otherwise called a priest). Or you believe in not believing in god and yet they call you a non-believer. Here are some awesome things you can do to have fun this Holy Week.

  1. You can eat pork with a side of chilli sauce without the fake Catholic guilt
  2. You can masturbate at least 3 times on Maundy Thursday without the fake Catholic guilt.
  3. You can do doggie style anytime, anywhere with anyone without the fake Catholic guilt.
  4. You can say ‘fuck’ or ‘shit’ or ‘slut’ to your heart’s content without the fake Catholic guilt.
  5. You can go to the beach instead of mourning the death of Jesus Christ without the fake Catholic guilt.
  6. You can lust for the morbidly bloody yet hornifyingly sexy bodies of Kapampangan penitents and flagellants without the fake Catholic guilt.Hot
  7. You can hire a prostitute to have sex and cuddle with (if you’re ugly and single) without the fake Catholic guilt.
  8. You can browse PornHub or the Mensexret websites and illegally download porn as much as you want without the fake Catholic guilt.
  9. You can smoke pot until your high as Jesus Christ in Rio without the fake Catholic guilt.
  10. You can NOT do good deeds and just stop caring about whether or not your neighbor is poor even just for a few days without the fake Catholic guilt.
  11. In short, you can just carry on with your damn life this Holy Week except that, for good two days, you get paid for doing nothing without the fake Catholic and capitalist guilt!

So say yay to saying nay to praying the gay away or praying in general! Yay!

Advertisements

One comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s