“I’ll fuck the good out of you.”

Alas tres ng umaga. Sarap na sana ng tulog ko pero ginising mo ‘ko ng tawag mo.
“Gawa mo now?”
“I’m not in the mood to play charades.”
“Why do you feel lonely?”
“Why do you pretend to care?”
“Curious lang.”
“Sleep on it.”
“Bakit ang sungit mo sa ‘kin?”
Sinagot ko ang tanong mo ng isa pang katanungan.
“Why can’t you be like a normal fuck buddy who doesn’t do small talk?”
“What’s wrong with a little talk between two adults thinking of fucking each other’s brains out?”
Ang boses mo, mayabang. Nampipikon.
“It’s bullshit and unnecessary.”
Pumatlang sandali ang katahimikan. Muli akong nagsalita.
“I don’t need to know anything about you. You don’t need to know anything about me. Let’s just fuck. No muss, no fuss.”
“Context is everything.”
“I am a 24-year-old guy who hasn’t had sex in a while. You’re a 30-year-old man who can give it to me. This context is adequate enough.”
“Or are we two guys who can challenge and hold each other’s interest?”
“I don’t really care if you lose interest in me. I can always find someone to fuck on Grindr.”
“You are missing the point. I wanna watch you get fucked. I want to be fully dressed as I calmly watch you get fucked by another man. I want to join you until he’s done with you.”
“I am all fucked up. You only need to watch me in my solitary to see that I am, in all my bits and pieces, fucked up. So fucked up that no one, not even you, can fuck me up some more.”
Katahimikan. Tapos nagsalita ka, “I want to fuck every bit and piece of you.”
“You can fuck me all you want. You can fuck me until your penis is limp and I bleed dry. You can have me. But I can never be had by you.”
Nanahimik ka. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa pagsasalita.
“So from now on, unless it’s an invitation to fuck, I won’t be replying to any of your messages anymore. Good-bye.”
“Anong prublema mo sa akin?”
“Halika nga dito at ng ma-hug kita.”
“I get attached. Let’s be casual.”

“I love you.”
“Thank you for being a part of my life, baby,” dagdag mo pa.
I clenched the phone hard that my knuckle turned white and said, “I want you to breed in me.”
“I’ll get your sexy ass fucking pregnant.”
“Make me your dirty little whore. Fuck me like you never met me. Fuck me like you hate me. Rape me and violate me and corrupt me as you would a chaste man who wants nothing but love and be loved in return. Fuck me so hard that when you detach your cock from my body, I wouldn’t be the same stupid romantic that I am. Fuck the lame fairy tales out of me. Fuck my little hole and shame me and bully me until I self-destruct and the concept of love is forever erased from my system. Do me as you please. Fuck me on a football stadium and throw me out naked on the streets. Fuck me. I beg of you. Make me heartless. Like you.”
The monster that you are simply replied, “I’ll fuck the good out of you.”


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