7 Things School Will Not Teach You

Photo from Reviving Hope

Hey student, I hate to sound like a jerk and burst your bubble but… 90% of everything you learn in school? Chances are you’ll never use it, ever again, in life. Yes, all those caffeinated nights of making sunog your over-plucked kilay for a death-defying exam in Physics or Algebra are all going to waste, together with your anally highlighted textbooks after your college graduation.

Like, when I was in college, interpreting arterial blood gases was the death of me. I spent hours and hours literally massacring my brain cells, trying to understand whether or not the metabolic alkalosis of my patient with bronchogenic carcinoma was compensated for, when all I really wanted to do that time was to lay on my bed all day while on a texting marathon with my crush.

Learning in school is overrated. The truth is there are small, mundane yet crucial things they do not even begin to teach you in the premises of your expensive, priests-ran university, things that you will encounter every single day of your well-educated life the moment you set foot out of your parents’ house and get a place of your own in the city. Here are some of them:

1. The perpetual need to adapt to survive.

Unlike school, real life is dynamic and ever-changing. There are a lot of things and situations that are constantly changing, usually without a warning. Things like a horrendous vehicular accident in EDSA while you’re own your way to a job interview, your burning office building, Facebook and Twitter restrictions at work, and many others. You’ll stumble a number of times, that’s a given. But you will have to learn to adapt to survive and thrive really quick.

2. How to wash your underwear (and bra if you’re a woman with boobs).

I can count using my two hands the number of times I washed my own undies in college. Although I’m far from being the pampered, spoiled, rich kid, we had help most of our lives, and she usually does the errands and chores including the laundry. But after getting a job in the city and started living independently, I had to learn how to get rid of those stains and marks from my undies on my own. Someday, you are going to rid of poop stains from your underwear by rubbing them hard with your fingers while forcing yourself to agree that that doesn’t make you any less of a person.

3. You’re stripped off your ‘coolness’ after graduation.

In highschool, or even in college, you only need to be handsome or smart, have rich parents or be a slut to become one of the cool and famous. But that schema will stop working at some point in real life. In real life, you always gotta try harder and prove yourself. For example, if you were the best whore in college, chances are competition for whoredom will become stiffer in the professional setting. You need to work harder to make your way to the top. If you were the most handsome guy back in college, that wouldn’t matter unless your boss is gay and you allow him to suck you straight cock for a promotion. If you were the smartest, some people at work will occasionally eat you and make you feel dumb. You just have to fight back.

4. Prepare you for taxes including how to pay them, etc.

But they don’t. They do not teach you this very important lesson in life. You get a job, feel excited about how much you made on your first ever payday and realize, you’ve just been robbed by the government. And one more thing, why do married people get more tax breaks than singles? Not that I am single (but hey I’m not married as well where’s my fucking right to marry, assholes?) but doesn’t the state know how mentally torturing it is to be alone and single? Ugh.

5. How to choose the ‘right one’

You learn from school that early adulthood is all about establishing an intimate connection with another individual and that cohabitation in the Philippines is still frowned upon. But school doesn’t teach you whether or not your current partner is the right one for you, or if he or she is worthy of your time and love. You’re practically on your own when it comes to learning the process of getting in a relationship and managing it. And usually, learning entails years of failed relationships and painful break-ups.

6. Friends are not as important as we thought.

Schools have always glorified the concept of friendship, which makes us all ‘die hard’ fans of friends and buddies. But the truth is after graduation, you and your friends will go separate ways and grow in different directions. Those people you were once close with will have new friends, develop new relationships, and the next thing you know they’re not picking up your routine Sunday call. But you shouldn’t see this as something sad because you will always have that superpower to make new friends and acquaintances. ‘Real’ life will teach you that our friends don’t make us. We make us. And that life is a lifelong cycle of coming and going.

7. Life is never fair.

Karl Marx is wrong. A classless society can never be. The mere existence of our senses makes discrimination and unfair-ness real. There is injustice in every facet of life. Deal with it.

But how?

By changing the way you think.

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2 comments

  1. Masyado atang harsh ang #6. :)) Maybe friendship takes on a different meaning lang when you graduate. If pasok naman ang maturity rate mo sa normal range (highly subjective though), you will eventually learn what makes a true friend after you graduate 🙂

    Napaka-fan ko na ng blog mo. Hahaha!

    1. Hmmm sabagay. I guess that’s one way to put it. And I agree na relationships such as friendships are dynamic din at nag-iiba ng meaning. Kahit kase ang definition ng ‘friend’ magulo din. Haha. Lahat talaga ng bagay siguro subjective.

      Isang malaking karangalan! 🙂 Salamat. Hehe. Pero wag kang masyadong magpapaniwala sa kin. Haha.

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